Too much of a good thing

I’ve been seeing a lot of black women appreciating themselves. It’s very refreshing. “Black girl magic” is something else, really, and how the black female community has stood up for each other is incredible.

But I’ve been seeing something else, too. Is it too much? Have we begun to inadvertently fetishize a seemingly positive and harmless notion? How I see it, is that it’s almost ideal (and I use this word with restraint) to be a black woman. We are at a point where it has almost become “trendy” to be a black woman. The problem with trends is that they eventually go out of style. Call me myopic. I get it. And I really am, biologically – it’s genetic. But I feel like we have taken our self-appreciation a bit too far. This sounds ridiculous and maybe I’ve gone raving mad, but give me some time.

The thing is, it’s not ideal to be a black woman. It’s not ideal to be anyone but yourself, just as you were created. There is so much praise for the black girl whose edges are laid, eyeliner “on fleek”, looking like a “glazed doughnut goddess”…and that’s great. But what about the girls who aren’t slim-thick with you know how the song goes, the ones who don’t have bouncy curls and aren’t into fashion? Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t bash anyone who has any of these features, but I reiterate in saying that it’s gotten out of hand.

I’m a black girl, and saying this is weird, even difficult for me. Black girls need to stop fetishizing themselves and their bodies! It does not make you better than anyone else, to be black. It just makes you a girl with more melanin pigmentation. And granted, maybe we kind of deserve it; we have been so long oppressed. However, I don’t think this new freedom, liberation if you must, allows you (us) to rub it in everyone’s face.

It’s cool to be happy with yourself; your body, and your face. It’s not cool to act as if you are a goal to be achieved, or as if someone else, even, is a goal to be achieved. Sure, lose some weight if you have to, learn how to put on make up if you want to, shave half of your head if it so pleases you. But please, don’t do it to look like the Black Barbie. Let me describe her to you. She has a medium to large bust, a wasp-like waist, really wide hips and a full behind. Some people are naturally like this, but a good number are trying to modify their bodies to fit this image (Side note: I do not believe in waist trainers, but anyway…) I think you get the picture. If not, which caves have you been living in? Get yourself on that godforsaken, wonderful social media. “Black girl magic” makes me so happy and so mad because we finally love ourselves but it seems we’re only doing it because of our popping melanin.

Now it feels like this post has become excruciatingly long and heavy so I will try to wrap it up. It’s fantastic that we can now wear our nappy hair and be proud of our wide noses, and that we are more included in the society, work place, world. I will probably still like photos of black girls being beautiful and I don’t know if this makes me a hypocrite. All I know is that black women are just as beautiful and powerful as Asian, Caucasian, White, Latina and Spanish women. Your beauty is not in your skin colour, but this does not mean you shouldn’t love it.

Also, can people stop pitting light-skinned girls and dark-skinned girls (guys too) against each other?


I see chords in your eyes and harmonies on your skin. You look like music to me.



5 thoughts on “Too much of a good thing

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